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Somehow do this in a way that gives you fulfillment. It may not always be easy but you should connect to the idea that what you’re doing is healing and nurturing. Or you’re repairing something essential. You can also see each week as a mini-adventure in trying to do something new and good. It’s a mini-drama because you don’t know in advance how things will turn out and what impact you’ll have.

[Structure]

Almost everyone needs structure. I think the three essentials are to pick a time goal, to get a support person, and to keep a brief journal.

Time: I recommend five hours a week. But the choice is yours. When can you schedule this in your week? People who don’t have five hours to spare might need to first focus on time management to build up their available time. Similarly, people with low energy or poor health might have to begin with diet, exercise and their medical needs.

For people who have no free time and can’t make time, your Heartbeat efforts can be toward the quality of your interactions. Can you be more gentle? A

better listener? Can you be more accepting of things that happen?

Support: I recommend you ask a friend or an acquaintance for support. I will try to connect people, but I have a limited ability to do this. Whoever supports you doesn’t have to do the Heartbeat themselves, but it’s better if they do. I recommend two 5 to 10 minute calls a week, optionally supplemented by brief “How’s it going texts.” However, you should pick out whatever combination of texts, calls, emails, video chats or in-person meetings works best for you and your partner.

When you’re acting as someone’s support “buddy,” you’ll want to affirm and celebrate their efforts. Thank them for their efforts to help others! You’ll also want to help them make clear goals for the next check-in. Of course, make specific goals yourself, too. Celebrate success. Keep things short. More Buddy Support tips can be found Here.

I recommend that people make an initial support commitment for only two weeks. That way, it won’t be intimidating and if it doesn’t work out well you can quit with no bad feelings. After that, if the match-up works, I believe that the commitment should be monthly. Each month assess together how it’s going. That’s a good time to ask for adjustments in the meeting (How long and in what form is best for support? / What combination of encouragement, affirmation, challenge, suggestions and feedback do you want?)

Consider if you want two different support partners. Maybe you have a lot of goals. Maybe you think the one partner is going to fade. Maybe you’ve invited a person to do the Heartbeat who will need a partner at least until they find one themselves.

Finally, want tips for bringing up sensitive issues there’s a resource for giving interpersonal feedback on the Resources page. If you do decide to end a support relationship, express appreciation for their efforts in helping you!

Use a journal to help you assess and celebrate your efforts: Making even brief entries each week can tremendously help you to improve the quality of your efforts. You’ll want to know your goal(s) for each week, how much time you actually put in, what results and reactions that you got, as well as insights you got about yourself. You should also note mistakes and what you plan to avoid doing in the future. – All that might only be just five sentences! If you do this consistently for even a few weeks you’ll probably be pleased that you’re get better ideas for action, and better results.

[Thinking about how to choose actions]

I thought of five different ways to choose what to do.

• If you have an obvious major obstacle in your life, you should probably first focus on that. I already mentioned if you don’t have time, or physical energy/health. Or you might feel you need to focus on saving/earning more money. Or you might believe that you need to learn some skill or deal with some major source of stress, as a first step.

• Usually when people brainstorm for possible good actions, they only think of a handful of options. So brainstorming from a list could give you better options. One list is in the Resources section. As you read it, you might write down a few options that seem to speak to you, and then you narrow those options to the one’s you want to do this week or in the next few weeks.

• You might focus on doing the most good for the most people, especially addressing some of the worse forms of suffering. What kind of suffering would you least like to experience? (If this approach appeals to you, you may want to explore ethical altruism at effectivealtruism.org.)

• There’s a kind of “bloom where you’re planted” approach. You focus on “weeding” your “garden,” of poor uses of time and nurturing the people and actions that bear the most fruit. (For many people, too much internet entertainment can be like weeds.)

• I created something called the CLEAR Method that I used to organize weekly support groups. It’s a very life-balancing approach. People were to do one hour of action in five areas toward long-range (four month) goals that they picked out. C meant Capacity-Building (time, money, health, skill, etc.) L meant “Living your mission” – What makes you feel most alive? E means empowering others, whether through volunteer action or informally. A means adding to the world’s stability, often environmental or political action. R means radiate or reproduce. It means to invite and support others to do CLEAR or the Heartbeat, so that more good can be done. For more information, look the CLEAR meeting format and the Weekly CLEAR Worksheet.

In all these approaches, I think it makes sense to do an informal cost/benefit analysis: What impact are you likely to have, relative to the time and effort you spend?

[Think about the all the possible positive and negative impacts of what you do] Is the timing right? Is it better to help a person learn to do something, rather than do it for them? Is it better to let someone experience some pain rather than protect them from the consequences of their actions? By doing this are your neglecting other responsibilities? Are you potentially putting yourself or others in danger? Is there a way this might backfire? – Consider reviewing these questions with each new undertaking.